So...my life just got a bit more complicated.

It's unlikely that my unemployment will get approved. FINALLY got to talk to a real person today after trying several times this week. They said there is a 6-8 week period of time where they determine if they can approve you or deny you if you are fired. The lady said that since the hospital had a good reason to fire me that I most likely will get denied but she couldn't say for sure.

Sooo..I've already been waiting for 3 weeks since I filed the day after I got fired. I asked her what to do in the meantime while I was waiting and she said "well honey just get a job". Oh yes...why didn't I think of that?! You retarded lady!

Everything looks good. :) There wasn't too much to see on the ultrasound. The tech saw the gestational sac and the yolk sac. Dr. L thinks I ovulated late and that's why we couldn't hear a heartbeat today. So I will go back in one week for another ultrasound. So we get to see the baby right before vacation! :)

I survived the blood draws....4 vials! The nurse said that's the most that they will have to draw for the whole pregnancy and if everything goes well I won't need more blood drawn until around 28 weeks for the gestational diabetes screening.

Dr.L may also push my due date back by 5 days or so depending on how big the baby is on the next ultrasound.

We have our first appointment tomorrow. Say a special prayer that everything looks good. :) ...and that I don't faint during the blood draw!

There is certainly something in the water in Indiana. :)

Another friend (from Lutheran) just told me today that she is due in October. That makes 3 girlies that I know due in October. Our baby will have 3 new playmates by the end of the year! Wouldn't it be wild if they were all the same gender?!

So we have some exciting news to finally announce!!

I am Pregnant!! :) We found out April 19th. :) We told my parents, Alan & Cassie tonight. Of course they are excited!! We are telling Andy's family on Friday night.

Our first doctor's appt is this Thursday morning. :) I am due December 17th (tentatively).

Please don't say anything on Facebook just yet because Andy's sisters are on there and I don't want them to find out that way.

My interview went very well. They said it could be a few weeks before they decide since there are still a high number of applicants to interview. Let the waiting games begin! Took 2 hours and 4 minutes to get there...that was with stopping for gas and going through 2 construction zones....usually does not take that long!

It's hard to take a break from blogging...so I'm back but only with limited news.

I had my meeting with the chief of nursing today. A member from HR was also present. I did not get my job back. :( She even had the compliance officier talk to me. I'm moving on to the next step of the grievance process which is the CEO. I have little faith that I'll get my job back at this point.

Our new washer came today! Yay for that!

I have my interview at St. Vincent Women's tomorrow morning at 11am. Going to be a long day ...about 4 hours of driving total for a 30 minute or less interview! Maybe I'll eat lunch in Indy before I make the trip back home!

Going to be taking a break from the blog for a lil bit....stay tuned. :)

3 days of Provera down and no signs of my period yet. I feel like sometimes this blog keeps everyone intimately updated with my body! Sorry about that!

In other news our washer, of course, took a crap this past week. It died during a load of towels. We had Andy's friend Joe, who is a appliance repair man, come out and look at it on Saturday afternoon. He determined that the motor was dead and it would be better if we just got a new washer. So off to Lowe's we went yesterday to get a somewhat cheap washer that we would be ok with leaving in the house after we move. Just had to happen after I lost my job. The downside is that the washer can't be delivered til Thursday. So much for their marketing of "next day delivery."

Less than 3 weeks til vacation now. :)

Finally got "Step 1" of the grievance report back today from HR at Lutheran. My boss is still standing by her decision to terminate me. So now I will move on to either her boss or the nursing officer. Please continue to pray that God will let me know his plan for my job situation soon. :)

3 posts in one day so far...geeze! Sorry!

Here is a picture of the perfect girl's room!

Got the Provera. Starting it tonight. The script is for 5 days but my period could start before the end of the 5 days.

Enjoy the beautiful day!

I can't sleep! Not sure why...I'm yawning like crazy but I have so much on my mind.

Emailed my doctors nurse through the patient portal on the WHA website tonight to see if I could get a prescription for Provera soon to end this potentially long cycle. Last time I took it he only made me wait 36 days...but I've had cycles as long as 48 says so we'll see. I'm rambling now! Sorry!

I hope my interview goes well and that they offer me the job plus a sign on bonus. :) I want to get some more money saved up for potential fertility treatments.

Interview with St. Vincent Women's Hospital on Friday April 23rd at 11am. Wish me luck! This would be for a position in their 75 bed NICU.

Another negative pregnancy test this morning.

****Be forewarned. This blog entry is not short and not happy. Read at your discretion.****


I'm so angry at so many things and situations in my life.

1) My infertility is a big one. I'm so frustrated that we can't move forward with meds and/or treatments right now. I HATE the forced break from medications. This cycle is inching very close to 36 days meaning that it's a non-ovulatory cycle. Basically another waste of a cycle.

If we don't get pregnant soon then I really think it's going to hinder how many children we have. I don't want to be a old mother. Yes I freaking already know that 24 is not old. But if I get pregnant with the next cycle I'll be 25 when that baby is born. OB's almost exclusively recommend not getting pregnant before the first child is a year old due to the high risk of preterm delivery and complications with the uterus. So that will put me at 26...with the second child being delivered when I'm 27. That's if it all goes right. Then you gotta factor in that 90% of your eggs are gone by the time you are 30 years old.

I also HATE when people tell me to "just relax"...ok ..how about you go through the unknown with people telling you left and right that all you need to do is 1)relax, 2)go on vacation, and 3)focus on other things. I've been told all that and much more. There are very few close to me that even understand how difficult this is. Those that say that God has a plan....are making me think they are off their rocker. What God chooses to deny a child to responsible, educated, married couples? Get back with me when you have the answer to that one.

2) My job loss is obviously another thing that I am angry about. The whole situation is just freaking ridiculous. My stupid boss has yet to get back with me. It will be 7 days tomorrow since I gave her the grievance report. She had a 5 day mandatory time limit to respond. She either doesn't care or can't read. If I am offered my job back I will probably have to go back to nights since I would be "starting over." That fact really doesn't even bother me. Never in a million years did I think I would get fired from the job that I was born to do.

3) Money. This probably doesn't need an explanation. Money has a hand in every decision we make as a human. It has the power to prevent you from doing something and at the same time has the power to allow you to do something. All of the money that we have saved for our next house that we hope to build is about to go completely out the window if I can't get a job asap. That is depressing.

4) I am also intermittently angry with Andy because I just want to move forward with trying to get pregnant and he is insisting on this 4 month break. He believes we will get pregnant on our own. I think he is delusional sometimes. I'm the one who has done the research and has seen the ultrasounds showing that my left ovary is not functioning and the right one barely gave a good response with the highest dose of medication. Maybe I should have made him come with me to 5 ultrasounds, 4 visits with the OB, and 2 shots. Oh and maybe I could have somehow let him experience the ovulation pain, the side effects of the Clomid, and the agony of waiting to test and finding out it's negative. Guys have it a thousand times easier.

Sorry if I offended anyone or gave too much information. My life is not easy right now and I HATE not knowing what's going to happen.

Contemplating going back to school to finish my NNP degree. If I do I would graduate in May of 2012 ...due to me taking this semester off it complicates things since some classes are only offered at certain times.

I might not even be able to start again until January (due to class availability)...there's a possiblity that I could take a class this summer but I'm not sure since there's a certain order that you must do things...I think that rings true for most degrees! I've emailed my advisor to ask her but I might end up calling her tomorrow.

Also talked to the nurse recruiter at St. Vincent. She had already sent my application to the nurse manager in the NICU so that's a good sign!

If I do go back to school and end up pregnant that will throw an additional wrench into the plans but I think I could handle it all. :)

Lots of prayers please.

Negative pregnancy test and still no period. What is wrong with me?

Nothing new to report on today.

Still playing the waiting game with both my body and my job.

Luckily my boss is only allowed 5 days or less to respond to my grievance report so I should hear an answer on that soon. If it's not the right answer (getting my job back) then I will move on to the next step in the chain of command. There's up to 6 steps.

So for now...we just sit and wait.

Negative pregnancy test today.

Not surprised (but still sad) since we don't know when or even if I ovulated. My period has also not shown its ugly face yet either so I'll test again in a few days depending on what happens.