Compliance officer finally called me back with her decision today (first call about this started Aug 9th). They have decided that I will not be able to do my spring semester clinicals at Lutheran Hospital due to my previous termination. I said "discrimination against a student". They don't care...they have a statement in their contracts saying they can deny whoever, whenever. Just fab. So I'll be driving for clinicals both semesters. Guess it could be worse...I could not be in school and still not have a job. Hopefully I will have employment opportunities (that arent a bazillion miles away) when I graduate in May.

The next step is Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie. They have an NNP who has expressed interest in the past about the possibility of being a preceptor. Hopefully she still has interest and hopefully since they are now part of IU Health there will be no red tape and contracts to figure out.

So...in short..Lutheran Health Network sucks ass! Sorry for my language but I've tried (nicely) to try to get into both Dupont and Lutheran. Management should WANT students to come and LEARN! The compliance officer did say "I commend you for advancing your education."....ummmm ok ...so why deny me a chance to come learn in your facility? Alll I said was "Thank you."

Remind me why I'm in school again?! My stress level is insanely high right now since I am having a huge nervous anxiety attack about the start of clinicals on Monday. After that I hope things will simmer down. I know clinicals will be challenging...its the nature of nurse/nurse practitioner school. JUST SO FREAKING NERVOUS! I feel inadequate compared to my other 3 classmates that have more NICU experience than I do. Just have to type all these feelings out. I know that most reading this are prolly like "get over yourself wacko." ...you try having the responsibility of small babies looming over your head!!